Rick Fairless: November 2011

So, I had this great idea. I write an article for an Industry rag called Dealernews & it's a great magazine distributed amongst the Motorcycle Industry. My column is called ASK FAIRLESS & I answer questions from people in the industry. So, I thought why not do the same thing on my blog & answer all questions from anybody who needs advise? I will answer any & all questions you email to me. I am very well versed in many things such as: Motorcycles, Love, Business, Sex, Music, Movies, Children, Paint, Women (kinda), Mirthmaking, Midgets or whatever else ya need. I learned everything I know & I recieved a degree from UHK (University of Hard Knocks). You can email me at rick@strokersdallas.com & I'll answer your questions here on my blog. Your questions will be answered in a humorous manner with a little truth added in for fun. Let's have some fun with this so shoot me over some emails. WARNING: I'M NOT VERY POLITICALLY CORRECT!
Thanks,
RF

ASK FAIRLESS

Dear Fairless, there are many motorcycle shows in my area & I sometimes attend, but I have never displayed at any show. I have inquired about the cost of booth space & it always seems it’s too much money to justify the expense. I mean, if I paid the money for the booth space then I have to pay employees to work that space which could run into overtime for a full weekend. I’m just afraid that I would spend all that money & it wouldn’t do me any good. What do you think?

Signed: Concerned in Southern California.

Dear Concerned, WTF is wrong with you? Do this, try to put your little chicken shit thoughts aside for just a minute & try really, really hard to think like a big boy business owner. Let me help you out here. Maybe you should write this down so it makes more sense to you. Let’s see, who attends motorcycle shows? Uh, motorcycle enthusiasts? YES! Who is your target audience? Uh, motorcycle enthusiasts? YES AGAIN. Ok, now we’re getting somewhere, I hope I haven’t lost you yet. Listen, the object of this game is to get your company out in front of as many potential customers as possible. I would venture to say that a motorcycle show is one of the best places to get in front of a large number of potential customers, at least in Texas it is, but I’m not sure about shows out there in the land of fruits & nuts, if you know what I mean ;). But, you need to be smart about it, maybe your ole lady can help you out here. Figure out which shows offer the most potential customer base that fits your target customer. In other words, get off the f’n couch & turn off the Brady Bunch long enough to do a little leg work (Marsha, Marsha, Marsha). Maybe venture over to the next county & try to get the word out about your shop to some bikers that may not know who the heck you are. Hell yes it’s tough to justify spending any money in this stinking economy, but I believe that you have to do whatever it takes to help spread the word about your business. So if that means buying some booth space at a popular bike show then I’d dang sure do it. I’ll tell you another thing while I’m on a roll here, I would work the booth myself & shake every stinking hand that walked by & another thing, I’d hire a couple of young good looking bikini gals to hand out flyers to your shop with some kind of service or parts special to get them in the door. You wanna draw a crowd? Put a good looking young girl in a bikini & the boys will line up to whatever she’s giving away! Hey Concerned, if you follow these simple instructions I believe that even you can draw more customers to your shop. Now, do you know what to do with new customers when they show up? That’s another column for another day.

Good luck Pal.

Dear Fairless, I don’t know what to do. I have owned my motorcycle shop for 10 years now & business sucks. Business was bad enough, but about a year ago a new, fancy shop opened up 5 miles from me & they have taken what little business I had. We sell used bikes, offer a full line of parts, sell motorcycle clothing, leathers, helmets, accessories & I have a full service center where we work on all American made motorcycles. It’s already cold here in New England & if business doesn’t pick up in a hurry then I probably won’t make it until spring.

HELP! Signed: Down & Out in New England.

Dear Down & Out, the way I see it is you’re down but not quite out, yet. So, first thing you need to do is to dry your stupid little eyes, wipe your snotty, crybaby nose & put your big boy pants on & follow these instructions! Ok, now, can you quit bawling enough to fight for your business? The only way you’re gonna survive is to take your business back from Mr. Fancy shop & get some new customers as well. I’d grab that new fancy shop by it’s fat f’n throat & choke the piss out of those pricks (figuratively & well, literally too!). It’s called OLD FASHIONED HARD WORK & 200% COMMITMENT & that’s the only way you are gonna win this war & mark my word, YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR! Now, are you ready to fight back? It will mean changing your lazy ass lifestyle, drastically! Ask yourself these questions: Am I open 7 days a week? Fairless is open 8 days a week! Do I open early & stay late? Fairless opens at 9am EVERY DAY & Fairless closes at 7pm EVERYDAY & Fairless is the one who turn the key both ways – EVERYDAY. I get to work EVERY DAY at 6am & I go home at 7:30pm EVERYDAY. I am the guy that personally greets my customers when they enter my store. Are you? Do you take days off? Fairless don’t…EVER! If I’m not at my shop then I am out of town at a motorcycle show. I worked 20 years for Glidden Paint Co. & 16 years here at Strokers & I have NEVER, EVER ONCE CALLED IN SICK! Have you ever called in sick? I learned many years ago that laying on the couch with a box of Kleenex don’t pay much! These are some of the work ethics that you will need to adapt to survive in this horse shit economy! Here’s some other things you should adapt: You need to be open when your customers are off work – that means Saturday & Sunday by GOD & I mean until 7pm! We do a first come first serve on service work every Saturday & Sunday & they line up early & often to get repairs done while they wait. People want to deal with the owner so you need to be there & be involved in everything that happens at your joint. What about discounts? I’ve always said I’d rather have a little piece of pie rather than no pie at all! Also, you should customize a few bikes with the parts you want to sell & use them as your catalog. What about bike nights? Do one at your shop at least once a month. It may start out slow, but if you do a good job then it will grow. What about other bike nights around town? HELLO, GO, hand out cards…shake hands…spread the good word! Sell yourself. People don’t do business with companies, people do business with people. Sure, it’s a drastic lifestyle change, but, if you want to stay in this industry, I mean you really, really, love this industry, I mean you live for this industry like I do, then quit f’ing around & get up early & kick that new, fancy shops ass & brother I mean EVERY STINKING DAY! Out work those fools. It’s you against them & you are literally fighting for your chosen livelihood. Yeah, you’ll miss your kids soccer games & you’ll miss sleeping in on the weekends, but you’ll make a living working in an industry that you love. And, if you don’t have that much fight in ya then get your lazy ass outta my industry cause you don’t deserve to be here with the rest of us survivors! Anyway, that’s the way I do it & my shop is very successful, so this is a proven blueprint that works for me. Or, you can just keep doing what you’re doing & I’ll see you next time I drive thru the Burger King. Maybe you can Super Size my order at no extra charge!

I hope ya got all that.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

COOLEST ROYAL ENFIELD ON THE PLANET!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What is this ASK FAIRLESS stuff?

ASK FAIRLESS: This article is not politically correct, so if you're sensitive get out now! RF

Monday, November 28, 2011

New T-Shirts!

Sneak Peak of the RF Royal Enfield